The more I sit with people in spiritual direction, the more clearly I see it:

Knowing yourself is not separate from knowing God.
It’s not a detour.
It’s not a distraction.
It’s the same path.

“Without knowledge of self there is no knowledge of God.”
— John Calvin

At first glance, this may sound surprising. Isn't our spiritual life supposed to be about focusing on God, not ourselves? But here's the deeper truth I’ve come to understand, over and over again, in the sacred conversations of spiritual direction:

When you start to notice your patterns—your striving, your fears, your deep longings—God doesn’t recoil.
He’s not surprised.
He’s not disappointed.
He’s already there.
He has always been there, gently inviting you to come home to Him through honesty, not performance.

So many of us were raised to believe that we need to get it together before we can approach God. That we need to be more disciplined, more holy, more joyful, less messy—less human. But that’s not how grace works.

Grace doesn’t wait on the other side of self-improvement. It meets us in the middle of our story.

In spiritual direction, we slow down long enough to ask the questions we often avoid:

• Why am I reacting this way?

• What am I truly afraid of?

• Where do I feel disconnected—from God, from others, from myself?

• What am I really longing for?

And it’s in those moments of gentle awareness, where nothing is forced or fixed, that we often encounter the presence of God in the most tender, surprising ways.

This is the work.
This is the invitation of spiritual formation.
Not to climb our way into God’s favor, but to awaken to the truth:
We are already loved.
We are already seen.
We are already invited in.

You don’t have to fix yourself.
You don’t have to strive to be enough.
You only have to come honestly.

This is the work.
This is the freedom.

Dear friend,

Do you ever feel stuck in your spiritual growth? You long to become more like Jesus, but you’re unsure what steps to take next. That can be deeply frustrating.

Here’s the good news: spiritual formation isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey. There’s no magic formula to becoming more Christlike. Instead, the Spirit of Jesus — who knows you intimately — leads you personally along the path (Hebrews 12:2).

Many churches rely on Sunday sermons or group programs to guide discipleship, and while those can be valuable, they often overlook how different we all are. Each of us brings a unique personality and story to our walk with Christ. That’s where personalized spiritual disciplines come in.

Spiritual disciplines are simply intentional ways of spending time with Jesus. They create space for His grace to meet you right where you are — especially in your struggles and blind spots. While practices like prayer and Bible study may be familiar, almost any activity can become a spiritual discipline when done unto the Lord.

But here's the key: certain disciplines may be more fruitful for your spiritual growth based on your personality — especially when you understand how your default coping strategies might be blocking grace. That’s where the Enneagram can be a powerful tool for transformation.

Take me, for example… I’m an Enneagram Three — the Achiever. I’m naturally driven to succeed, stay productive, and meet expectations. While that can be a strength, it also makes it hard for me to slow down and be honest about what’s really going on inside. I tend to hide my weaknesses — even from myself — in order to keep up an image of being capable and in control.

But spiritual growth doesn't come from pretending I have it all together. For me, the most fruitful spiritual discipline is emotional honesty — creating space to acknowledge what I’m really feeling and bring it before God without judgment. This discipline helps me let go of performance and find freedom in being fully known and loved by Jesus. 

Here’s a simple guide to begin:

Type One (Reformer): Abandoning outcomes to God

Type Two (Helper): Solitude

Type Three (Achiever): Emotional honesty

Type Four (Individualist): Thankfulness

Type Five (Observer): Bible study as worship

Type Six (Loyalist): Scripture meditation

Type Seven (Enthusiast): Silence

Type Eight (Challenger): Spiritual friendship

Type Nine (Peacemaker): Spiritual direction

If you want to dive deeper into how your heart and habits are being shaped, consider meeting with a trained spiritual director who uses the Enneagram to help you grow in grace, truth, and Christlikeness.

Let’s keep breathing deeply and walking daily with Jesus — with every breath.begins with an idea.